Category: marriage, foundation, rocks, passion, stick with it

Faith- What To Do When You Need Patience

Featured

Today as I am trying to pack to go on the yearly summer vacation I find myself needing patience. I am generally laid back and a pretty patient person (exceptions traffic and drive through Windows). I am not sure why but those two things tend to get under my skin especially a drive through if the people in the car with me do not know what they want or keep changing their mind. I get to the point of “just flipping order something”. Patience is required in life as we spend lots of time waiting at the doctor, stores, drive throughs, traffic, restaurants and in my case waiting on a woman (my wife and two daughters). Seems like it takes them forever to make up their mind on clothes and getting dressed.

Then when we go shopping it takes forever to go in the store and grab stuff. That turns into an all day shopping excursion and I have things to do at home. God wants us to be patient and patience in mentioned in his word in both the new and old testament. I have to exercise patience as a public school teacher and coach with teenagers. I have to get better at being patient and the only way I can do that is to work on it hard. Focus on it and ask the Lord for patience and grace in that process. Being patient is kind, loving, friendly, helpful, avoids stress and anxiety. Being patient is what God expects us to be when dealing with our family and friends. Being patient requires us to submit to Gods plan in our lives and live the best we can and “wait”. For me that is the hard part!

James 5: 7-8; Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

Psalm 37:39; Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

Featured

Faith- Lukewarm Spirituality

I am 100% convicted of the title of todays faith based lesson. I have been a spiritual person since I was just a young boy but have had times in my life when I was lukewarm at best. In fact, I have been less than lukewarm at times in my journey with God. The bible refers to this as non being mindful or watchful of God’s work in your life. Life throws all kinds of curve balls at us and the Devil loves to step in and get between us and the Lord. Lukewarm spirit can be compared to lukewarm work habits, relationships and family matters.

If we are lukewarm we will face things that we are not prepared for and those things will take us down. We have to constantly be in prayer and seek guidance from God to make sure that we stay Red hot for God and not go lukewarm. You do not have to church every week to be red hot on fire for God. We choose our relationships with family, spouses, co-workers and God. We build habits within ourselves that determine how we do in these areas of our lives. Laziness creates lukewarm behaviors and lukewarm results.

God wants us to be more than lukewarm for him. He seeks us daily and consistently watches over us and wants us to reach back to him. We must not just seek him in bad times but at all times. God is never lukewarm and we should not be either. If we are lukewarm in a marriage then it will suffer. If we are lukewarm at a sporting event or when playing then out performance will suffer. If we are lukewarm at work then out performance will suffer.

I had to look at myself and think about my Luke warmness in life at times. I had to look at myself in all aspects to make sure I stayed on fire for God and that he can continue to influence me and lead me to what he wants me to be. Avoid be lukewarm by doing the following things in your life daily. This will keep you on fire in your relationships, career, outside activities and most importantly with God himself.

1- Pray everyday without fail. Failure to pray is failing to seek God in your life.

2- Check yourself to see where you stand in all aspects of your work life, family life and spiritual life.

3- Change what is broken. Get rid of old habits by creating good ones that are productive and never be lukewarm in anything you have passion about.

4- Work hard at all aspects of life and go for red hot in everything that is important to you.

5- Pray, Pray and Pray some more and watch God become red hot in your life.

2nd Corinthians 13:5; Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

Featured

Leadership 101- 12 Effective Habits of Great Leaders

1- The very best coaches motivate, inspire and lead the organization with intention, purpose, dedication, discipline, desire and an create energy around them constantly. 

2- The really effective coaches never use intimidation, power, embarrassment or other negativity to teach the required skills needed to be successful in life, sports, work and play.  

3- Great coaches are great life teachers that lead by example, share their history, success, failure, wins and losses to grow the team, individual and build life long relationships.  

4- The best coaches keep the game in perspective and know that winning, losing, upsets, setback, victory, injury, goals and are all about life after the sport and game has ended.

5- Great coaches never let their ego, pride or willingness to win override team goals, personal matters and individual accomplishment.  

6- Great coaches understand the individual strengths and skills of each player and how they can be developed for the overall improvement of the player, staff and team.

7- The best coaches coach the individual, team and staff with intention of growing their skills and winning.

8- The best coaches are always flexible and fir the players into their system of success growing the team skills constantly. 

9- The great coaches are communicators that lead with their voice, actions and behavior.  

10- Great coaches listen to their players, staff and parents actively to gauge where they are in relationships and overall growth of the organization.

11- Great coaches just do not talk the talk, they walk the walk.

12- Great coaches teach life skills, winning, losing, integrity, hard work, dedication, discipline, team work, overcoming, and so many other needed life skills for adult success after the game iv over.

Featured

Personal Growth-Three Keys to Success In Life

As a coach I have attended many coaching clinics through the years to gain knowledge, experience and grow my skill set to help my athletes get better.  One of my favorite all time coaches and speakers is Lu Holtz who had a fabulous career coaching, speaking and as a broad caster for football games.  He was a program builder and did a super job everywhere he went.  I had the pleasure of meeting him and getting a picture with him several years ago at a football clinic in Atlanta, GA.  He is a motivational coach and person that has so much experience in life and is a winner.  The quote above hit home with me today as I was surfing the web to prepare for writing and I wanted to share it with my people.


In this quote he is talking about three things that are key to winning, overcoming, preparing and doing well in sports and life.  The first of these is Ability which is important as part of success and winning.  We all have natural God given ability and some that we have developed through the years as we practice, prepare, study, learn and work towards our goals in life.  We must take these abilities and maximize them to be the best we can. Motivation is the second part of this success formula and that comes from mostly within ourselves.  We find motivation from others around us, our coaches, teammates and friends.  But the final say on how motivated a person can be is a individual decision.


Football coaches stand before team and give a motivational fire and brim stone speech to the guys designed to fire them up and give  them confidence and motivation to play hard.  That fired up speech will last about the first 3-5 minutes of the game and then it becomes a game of will and who wants to  win more than the other.  Finding motivation when things get tough is the hard part.  Finding motivation when you are down is the hard part.  Finding a way to motivate your friends and get them fired up during battle is an art.  


Attitude determines how you will succeed in life, sports, work and play.  I was talking to my students today in class and we were discussing life skills and how attitude keeps us  going and helps define who we are and where we go in life.  The old saying is “you can either see the glass half full or half empty”.  I used a half full water bottle as the prop and we talked about that for a few minutes.  I want my students to understand that they determine their attitude and no one else.  We started class out with a simple paper that had five faces on it.  One was smiling, one frowning, one neutral, one crying and one really happy.  I told them to circle where they were at that point with attitude.  After we did the exercise and talked about it I had them repeat the activity.  


Several of them actually changed their picture from frowning or mad to a more happy face.  I suggest you print one of these off the internet and put it on your mirror or fridge so you have to decide how you will take on your day.  Will you start the day glass half full or glass half empty?  Take your ability and use it to become better.  Motivate yourself to accomplish great things and go after life with an attitude of excellence and intention.

Americana- July 4th Fireworks, Family and Friends

My family has been celebrating the fourth of July for many years at a pool party with friends, family and lots of fireworks. My dad loved fireworks and would always drive down to South Carolina or have someone bring some back from the beach to shoot off at the party. He would sit on the diving board at the local pool we were members of and watch us boys (me and my brothers) fire off the fireworks. He took pride in his family, friends and that pool party. The highlight at the end of the night growing up was to see those booming fireworks going off.

Once dad got a bit older and could not set them off himself as I stated we would set them off and he and mom would sit and watch and celebrate. I can see him smiling now as the beautiful colors sparkle and bang in the air. My dad passed away on 2009 and we have continued to make sure this family tradition continues. My nephews have now become the firework setter off leaders. One of them is a fireman so he is the perfect person for the job. If he sets something on fire he can grab a hose and put it out.

I was helping them this time and we were spending some time talking and I looked both of them in the eye and told them that myself and their dads were getting a little older and will not always be here. I asked them to take it and run with it every July 4th. Family, Friends, Fireworks and food are a staple of my families July 4th and I cherish every memory made all of these years. I have been hit by random fireworks, ran from them, nearly got my fingers blown off and all kinds of trouble due to setting them off.

We celebrate a day that signifies life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in the greatest country in the world. I am thankful for all of my family, friends and the fireworks and hope you had a great July 4th celebrating our independence. Americana is apple pie, holidays, baseball, fire works, summers at the lake, toys, traveling and so many other things. Enjoy and make your own Americana memories and tell your story. I hope you enjoyed the story of my dad, mom, our family and how important fire works is to us and our family bond.

Faith- Finding Courage In Challenging Situations

You will be put in challenging situations and at times feel overwhelmed and let down. Life will let you down at times and often it is when we are either at the top of our game or at the lowest point.  When we are facing our darkest moments and weakest moments due to life events we must focus on God and look for an outcome that is positive. To make it positive we have to have faith and believe that the process of overcoming challenging times is going to be dealt with head on and with courage.

Challenging events in our lives are part of the process of growing, becoming more than what and who we are.  God wants us to be strong, have faith and walk through life with his light shining.  Life will knock you down and beat you up bad if you let it. We live our best life and know that the things we face in life such as losing a job, losing family, broken families, health crisis and other things make us stronger. God will never put us through something we cannot handle and is right there by our side helping us with it. He is carrying us through it and knows the outcome if we follow him and trust in his process.

The bible tells us that God will not put us through anything we cannot handle, but doing it on our own often leads to more trouble, anger, strife and fear.  Ask God to help you, guide you and lead you and he will.  These times cause us to have all of these emotions and can make us mentally and physically sick. Tough times can also make us spiritually sick which allows the Devil to step in and cast doubt, anger and frustration. When times get hard, we must fight back and seek God for his grace, guidance and mercy.

You will look back and laugh at those times knowing it was all a step forward in your spiritual journey.  Even though it may have felt like a step backwards at the time. What seemed like a step in the wrong direction can often be the steps forward that propel us to become stronger in our faith and relationships with family, friends and God. When it gets tough, fight back. When times challenge you, push back. When a crisis happens in life, step up to the challenge. When life kicks you in the teeth, call on God and overcome!

Faith- Life Lessons #1

God has a plan for all of us, we have to ask for his guidance in the process and be obedient to him. There are two plans in life. Our plan and Gods plan and often the two are not the same. God is all knowing and has already planned our role in the world. We plan our own role as well and it often clashes and we somehow see things constantly getting in the way or progress towards our plan. God will not shut you down, but he can offer help if we seek his guidance in the process.

Humans tend to need and want things, it is a natural part of living.  What we often do not think about is what God needs for us to have.  Everything we own, work for, have, buy and accomplish is because we have a loving God that permits it. I look at my career, family, money, hobbies, health and other parts of my life as borrowed from God. We are all on borrowed time and with his blessings we will have the things we desire, need and want. Until those things get in the way of right, good, and just thinking, actions, behaviors and living.

He needs us to have a relationship with him, he wants us to honor him.  Honor God by honoring your commitment to him because he is 100% committed to you. Seeking a daily relationship with God is a must for me. I cannot imagine living without God interacting in my life, my family life and work life. I probably should restate the title of this paragraph to “We need a relationship with God” and that will honor him. Do everything with good intention, honor, commitment and faith and you can conquer the world in the process and achieve all your goals and dreams.

The bible speaks about desires of the flesh, getting lost in our way and being greedy.  Often, what we need is really not what we want.  I broke down and bought a new truck last week, well actually a good used truck bit compared to the old 1997 paid for truck I had it was a bigtime upgrade. I didn’t have to buy a truck but the time had come to where the old red one was starting to see its better life gone before it. I wrestled with the fact of spending money, buying a newer vehicle and using credit. Those are things I do not like to do. So I prayed about it, thought about, made a list of pros and cons about it and then made a decision.

Pray to God and ask for his guidance in buying, pursuing and having things. Ask God to show you the way. Be patient, observant and diligent in the way you pursue things using sound Biblical principals of finance, thought, behavior and work ethic and the world will treat you well. God will bless you, guide you and lead you to his plan and an ultimate victory for you. May God bless you and Keep you!

Faith: Being A Man of Godly Character

In Proverbs 6: 16-19 the Bible tells us that “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers”. I have known men on both sides of this aisle. I know men that are faithful, good fathers, hard working, compassionate and loving. I also know some men that are scum bags, bad fathers, self loathing, disrespectful, criminals and very bad examples of what a man should be.

I make the decision to be around men of character not those that are bad examples. God had called all men to be of good character and faith. He has called us to be examples of good, hard working, honest, forthright and champions of a great cause. He did not call us to be criminals, drug addicts, murderers, bad fathers, drug pushers, violent, controlling and all the other sinful ways the world promotes. God gave us choice when we were created and we live and die by those choices. I often ask people what is your why and how can you be the best you can be. I ask men why they chose themselves over the kids, spouse and family.

In 2nd Peter 1: 5-8; the Bible also tells us how to be a good man with Godly character. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ”.

Being a Godly man, a leader, a father, a hard worker, a mentor, a husband, and most importantly a Christian example is hard. It requires time, energy and patience. It requires commitment, dedication, discipline and determination to be a winner as a Man and in life. Choosing to be anything else less is a let down for the family unit, the kids and the world. We choose our path, we walk our path and we are rewarded for those decisions in life. What kind of man are you and how do you live your life. Below are five ways to get on the path of being the best you can and live the life as a Godly man as called for by our father and God.

  1. Live life with a servant heart. Being a good man, father, son, brother, worker, companion, husband and mentor requires a servant heart. God calls us to serve and lead!
  2. Pray daily asking for Gods guidance, influence, grace, mercy and forgiveness. Seek God and he will bless you and guide your decisions on life.
  3. Take a look at your current status as a man and see what changes may need to be made to be a better man.
  4. Make your family the priority in life. Do not choose other activity over your wife and kids.
  5. Do not talk about it, be about it. Be the man you are called to be by God.

Ephesians 6:4; Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Romans 8:14; For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Relationships: Married 28 Years and Counting

Today my wife and I celebrated twenty eight years of marriage together. We met back in 1992 and got married in 1993. June 5, 1993 we became one, exchanged rings and began our journey as two merged as one. My wife is my ride or die. My wife is my boo. My wife is my best friend. My wife is my accomplice in life. My wife is my inspiration. My wife is my why! It has not always been easy to make it that long and we had many bumps in the road along the way. We have seen our fair share of health issues, financial issues, job loss, job gain, good income, bad income, poor times, rich times, fun times and tough times. Below I am creating a list of exactly what it took for us to make it the full 28 with prayerfully 28 more.

A healthy marriage involves the following principals to be strong, survive and thrive:

1- Marriage is a union of two souls.

2- Marriage requires giving and serving of your spouse.

3- Marriage requires a solid foundation of faith.

4- Marriage requires sound financial management of what God has provided.

5- Marriage requires spouses that are supportive and pray for one another.

6- Marriage requires dedication, discipline and determination.

7- Marriage is not to be taken lightly. It is to be seriously at all times.

8- Marriage is ride or die. No quitting allowed regardless of how hard it gets.

9- Marriage is for life and your spouse is your one and only. You never seek out, look for or consider other sexual activity outside the marriage.

10- Marriage requires God’s grace, guidance, mercy and will. Seek him and your marriage will be blessed. A great marriage is built on the foundations of rock that creates success and not on sand that will wash away with high waters.

Dreams and Goals: Five Years From Now

I often imagine where my wife and I will be five years from now. Will we be fully retired, working, traveling, living at the beach or in the mountains? These are just a few of the thoughts I have when I think about that question. To see where we may be five years from now I need to look at where I am right now with life. To do this I have to put together a list of the things most important to my wife and I and then add to that list with details about our current status. We then can look at determining where we want to be in five years and how we will plan to get there. We have been in this process for awhile now and it takes time to decide what you want to be doing in the future.

Our girls are grown and living their lives and doing quite well at it. We are at the phase where we have supported and raised them through college and into their mid twenties so now we will look to do what we want to do in the next five years so we can spend the balance of our lives doing what we want to do. My wife likes the beach more than the mountains and I like the mountains more than the beach. I think either would be great but if we cannot find a way to have both then one will have to give. One of our goals is to have a place at either or both. To accomplish our five years from now goals we had to look at our financial, spiritual, family, work and activity goals.

1- Financial: We want to be financially debt free. In five years we plan to owe zero to no one. Not one red cent to any bank, credit card, mortgage company or anyone. We will likely accomplish this goal long before that because we have a plan in place already. As soon as we sell our current home we can get completely debt free as that is the main debt we carry. Plans are to payoff debt, save and invest for a bright opportunity five years from now.

2- Family: Our girls are grown but we spend lots of time with them not only hanging out but working with them in a family type business situation. We want to be close to them, but also want to travel and find our happy spot for retirement. There is a balance we need ti figure out with that so we have some decisions to make and work on solving that dilemma.

3- Activity: We love to travel around even if it is just a short weekend trip. This allows us to go and see new places, find new things to do and spend time traveling and chilling out. Do we get a new place, buy an RV, rent or pay cash in a central location. Once again we have questions and things to work out. We love the mountains, beach and lakes so is one of those our final living destination as home base. From there we go be active and live our best lives.

As you can see my wife and I have questions to ask and answer in the coming years as we plan to see where we will be five years from now. I do know it will require not working, traveling, enjoying life and spending time with our family and friends. How we accomplish that is TBD and something we will be actively figuring out soon.

Coach B!

Health: What’s Your Why

My wife and I began to take our health much more serious in late 2020 after two close calls I had with my overall health. We sat down and talked about our future goals in life. What we wanted to accomplish together as individually. We talked about where we were and how we were going to get there. The first thing we realized was the we needed to know our why. You may ask, what do you mean by our why? When you set goals in life for relationships, financials, overall health and other areas that are important to you just making a list and going after it is not the best way. You have to look at things, analyze it, break it down and then figure out what is you “why”. We decided that we wanted to focus on our relationship, family, finances and spiritual growth going forward. We wrote these things down and then started thinking about what is our “why” for each of these.

Financial- Our why was to be independently secure with enough money to live the life we want to when I retire in around five years or so. To do this we have to decrease what little debt we have, save more and invest in our near future. The why is to be financially secure!

Spiritual- We have always kept the Lord present in our marriage and life’s and it is an important piece of our total package. The why is that God has been and still is good to us and we need to be better at talking to him, praying to him and finding his peace in our busy lives. Our why is that God loves us.

Physical Health- As stated above I had a few scares with my heart (twice) and Covid 19. This brought us back to reality that we had to take better care of ourselves, get more exercise, relax more and eat better. This why was an easy one to figure out. I want to be here for my wife of 28 years and grown daughters. So the why is to live.

Relationships- We have a very strong relationship and marriage. We have two awesome grown daughters and are very close to them. We cherish those relationships with family, friends, co-workers and other people in our lives. So our why was to build on those relationships and get the best we can out of them with what time we have.

Now you know my why. What are your why’s and how do you plan to attack them and accomplish the goals, dreams and visions attached to them? It all starts with self reflection and figuring our where you are and where you want to be. What is important to you and why. Go find your why and live your best life!

Coach B

Coaching: Five Ways to Identify A Quitter

Quitting in life is a habit that people learn from an early age. As they get older and grow up they learn that it is OK to quit sports teams, school, jobs and on family. There are signs that will give you an idea that someone is about to quit on you, your company, your relationship, your family, their kids, their job and life. I talk to my students about this a personal dilemma they may face in life. As a wrestling coach I see it every year. Kids quit mostly because wrestling is hard, practice is tough and it requires a winning attitude to face down all the potential serbacks it offers. I had a kid quit this week after a few minutes. He asked me to join the team so I let him come out. We warmed up doing some tumbling and exercises and within 20 minutes he asked to go to the bathroom and never came back.

I saw him today and asked him what happened and instead of just telling me it was hard or he didn’t like it he gave me a bunch of excuses about he had to go home, his mom called, etc. I asked him to come back and well, he must have forgot because I have not seen him since. I know why he quit because it is hard. Wrestling is a very mentally and physically challenging sport. It was hard so he walked away. He gave up on it. He quit without a good effort. He gave into his self doubt. He was lazy and wasn’t used to the effort required. I am not sure which one of these is the real answer but I do know that this kid has quit more than one sport, quit on clubs and other groups at school. He has learned a behavior and built a habit that it is OK to just walk away.

There is a likely hood that when he becomes an adult he will quit on jobs, family, friends, and give in when life gets tough. Quitting on life blocks people from being there best. They think it is the easy way out, but reality is it just makes things worse. Quitters show signs and could see them in this kid as he was stopping during team activity, wanting to go get extra water, sitting around while the others were standing up. I saw the signs but still tried to save him. I wanted him to stay, overcome and be a better person and athlete. But he choose to quit, walk away and give in. Below are some signs that someone may be getting ready to quit on you.

1- They stop working hard or hardly give an effort.

2- They quit attending functions, events, meetings and required activity.

3- They have a change of attitude about work, life and play.

4- They want it easy and desire instant gratification.

5- They show weakness physically, mentally and spiritually.

My dad always told me that winners never quit and quitters never win. That still stands for me today and I hope more of the younger parents begin to teach their kids to stick with things. Give things a fighting effort. Work hard and work smart for what you desire. Not just give up, quit, walk away, shut down, run from problems and be a quitter.

Coach B