Americana- The Car Lot Dumbass Driver

Today on my way home I am riding down the road listening to some good Christian music to relax and bring my inner peace level to a slow pace and chilling state. As I do daily I am driving the same road about the same time just minding my own business and going home. About a mile from my house a car in front of me hits his right turning signal, slows down to a crawl in a big old truck and makes the right turn. No big deal right, he did the right thing by giving a signal and safely making a turn into the side road.

I was the first car behind him so I slowed down to about 25 MPH to allow him a good turning radius and stay safe. As he is turning into the road that is when Mr. Dumbass that was at the stop sign decides to turn out into the lane while he is about 95% into the road. The truck is clear so I accelerate to speed up as normal traffic would do but the issue is Mr. Dumbass that decided to turn out in front of everyone including myself and four cars stacked up behind me almost hits me as I enter the section of road he is turning into.

The guy was in a small car so I just barely saw him behind the truck and as he came into the road with me now back to about 45 MPH I have to hit the brakes hard to avoid hitting him and having an accident. That creates an issue with all behind me as they have to tap the brakes and slow down to keep from hitting each other. Horns begin to blow as most people do when something like that happens. After saying a few choice words about Mr. Dumbass as he is labeled for this posting I settle down do not blow my horn and just kind of throw up my hands like what the hell are you doing?

He decides to throw up his hand and give me the middle finger so now my pleasant ride home has turned into me being mad as hell and wanting to whip his butt. I didn’t do anything to Mr. Dumbass, he was the one that almost created a four car pile up. I bit my lip and refused to give him the return signal of a middle finger and slow down to give him some room and try to chill back out. Mr. Dumbass decides about a half mile down the road that he will now turn left without giving a signal and does so by turning in front of oncoming traffic which causes a lady to slam on her brakes and turn into my lane to avoid hitting him.

Now Mr. Dumbass after two selfish moves in his car and about costing people to be harmed and tear their cars up decides to throw his hand out the window and shoot the “bird” to me and others because the lady he pulled in front of blew her horn at him. I noticed he was driving a car with dealer tags already when I almost hit him and that paid off for me a little later. I now get pissed “road rage” for the second time so I whip it around (after giving a signal) and went to see if I could catch Mr. Dumbass.

It took me a few minutes and I had almost given up so as I was turning around to head on home and my blood was no longer boiling to my surprise Mr. Dumbass passed me going the other way. The look in his eyes when he saw my car and me smile and wave at him was priceless. Mr. Dumbass floors it and heads off really fast but the evidence I gathered seeing the dealer tags told me where I could find him. There is a car lot at a pretty well known dealership just a mile or so away so I ventured over to see of he was there.

I had no intention of actually doing what I wanted to do which was take his middle finger and stick it where the sun does not shine. Instead I figured I would mess with Mr. Dumbass a little and maybe even let his boss know that he was out driving around representing the car lot in such a “positive” manner and being so nice to potential customers. I had bought a few cars from this place and was surprised they had someone employed that would act this way.

So I went in and asked to see the guy that was driving the little white “Nissan” with the dealer tags ABC-123. They said yep that is Johnny (fictitious name) and let me get him for you. Here comes Mr. Dumbass and he is all fired up ready to go and try to sell me a car. He didn’t know who I was so I started asking him questions about a small white Nissan that I had my eye on. He pointed me right to the car and asked if I wanted to test drive it.

I walked over and looked it over a bit and asked if it had ever been wrecked, how it ran, and other questions just to mess with him a bit. I could tell he was a cocky guy, very smug and full of “you know what”. So I then said, yep I am thinking about trading in that old green car for that one. He looked over and his expression changed a bit and I could tell he knew who I was. I told him I might need to trade it before some “dumbass” causes me to wreck and tear it all to hell driving like a maniac.

At this point he is busted and squirming a bit so I am loving it. I then said, you know I think I have seen you and that car before and he looked away. I said in fact, I seen you driving that car and almost killing people a few minutes ago. Then if I recall correctly I think you actually gave people the middle finger for your irresponsible actions. At this point he is getting defensive and says he thinks I need to leave. So I said, why don’t I instead go inside and talk to the manager since I have bought two cars here the last 10 years or so. I am sure they would love to know what kind of person they have working here and how he treats people on company time in a company owned vehicle.

He proceeded to apologize and ask me to let things go. I said no problem, all is well and I think you have squirmed enough for one day. As I walked off to actually look at a real nice Dodge Challenger and a Jeep I looked back and said. “Oh, by the way you may want to be careful where and t whom you fly that bird” It may get you fired or possibly and ass whipping. He had nothing to say and went back inside. I got in my old green car and drove off heading back home. The moral of the story is do not create chaos for others by being selfish or a jerk and then take it out on them because you are a “dumbass”.

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