Relationships: Marriage and Love

Tomorrow night my baby girl Brooke is getting married. She is marrying the man of her dreams and I have to admit he checks off all the items on my dad list also. He is responsible, has a good job and skills to make a very good living, treats Brooke like a queen, has good credit, vehicle and a home. He also loves my wife and is one of the few people that can pick at her and go at her and get away with it so he is a keeper. It helps that he is very good with mechanical work, electrical work and hands on skills. Jonathan is what I call a mans man and I appreciate his love and care for my daughter. I could go on and on about the things I checked off about him that are part of providing for her and the future family they will have in the coming years.

There is more to marriage than credit, jobs, houses and being a hard worker. My wife and I have been married for right about 28 years (in June) and through all the years we have seen great times, really tough times, bad health, good credit, bad credit, money, no money, bills piling up, no bills etc. What got us through all those years was our spiritual connection to one another. We always supported each other in our careers, worked as a team with raising our children and kept respect at the top of the list. Marriage to some people is a quick decision that they regret and walk away from. Marriage to me is a fulltime commitment that is made in the eyes of God.

A great marriage will endure all things if it is built on love, patience, kindness, respect, truth, hope, encouragement and inspiration. My wife inspired me all of our marriage with her silly quirks, things she says and does, reactions, attitudes and behaviors. No marriage is perfect and it takes work to stay together, not fold or quit on each other. Marriage is hard at times and will test your mental focus and ability to keep going. With this being said I am giving my list of things a marriage must have to succeed and be fruitful as God intended the union to be. One man and one woman joining hands, vowing to love and nurture one another for life until death do them part.

1- A marriage must be founded on faith. Faith in God and faith in each other. Faith is the foundation of success and will get you through all the bad times and help you be more gracious during the great times.

2- A marriage takes total commitment. Marriage is not a part time job or temporary thing you walk away from. Marriage is built on two committed people that have each others back regardless.

3- A marriage must have love in it. I am talking about a special kind of love. Someone once asked me how you know if the person your with is the one. I looked at him and said “son, when you see her do you get goose bumps? When you are away from her do you think about her and cannot wait to get home and see her”. That is marriage and the love needed to make it!

4- A marriage must be built on mutual respect for one another. Marriage is a compromise of two people and families. It must include respect for the other persons mind, body and soul. Respect is much deeper than talking nice or making them feel good. Respectful marriage is you and her, two are now one and must stay that way.

5- A strong marriage requires great communication skills. You must communicate with each other daily, and stay in touch often while away from one another. I communicate with my wife all the time, we check with each other, text, make a quick call or just send a quick message to let them know that you love, cherish and honor your spouse and are Thankful they are in your life.

6- A good marriage requires hard work, dedication, discipline and determination to succeed. If I can give my daughter and her man any advice it will be to stick with it. Battle through the tough times, push through the hard times and love each other regardless of the pitfalls, setbacks and bumps in the road. Stay the course and stay strong.

There are all kinds of other descriptive words like trust, hope, grace, mercy, kindness, understanding, and so many more that apply. Most of all love each other, stick with it and make it work. Let nothing tear apart what you build and make sure God is always in the mix. Never build a house on a sandy beach because it will crumble when a bog storm arises. Build a marriage on a firm foundation of rock and it will stand for time.

1st Corinthians 13: 4-7; Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I am very proud of my daughter and her future husband. I look forward to seeing them grow old together if the good Lord allows me to stay around that long. Love is patient, love is kind, love is the foundation a great marriage is built on.

Coach B


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