Today I woke up after a very restful night of sleep.  I had positive dreams, slept well and only had to get up a time or two for the bathroom. However, I was not feeling very motivated and seemed to be a bit testy and unappreciative of where I was at that moment in my life.  For some odd reason I just was not “feeling it” today”.  If you know me or read my blog you likely understand that I am generally a very motivated and cheerful person.  Today was just one of those days I guess and after a little self loathing and momentary period of doubt I rebounded back and by the time I got to work I was excited and ready to get after the day.  I have a plan for 2021 that includes growth in three areas as I come back from a tough 2020 and several health issues that took a lot out of me.  

My plan includes spiritual growth, physical healing and better mental focus (mind, body and soul) are my three goals.  I wrote a plan and each day I look at these areas and focus on them (mostly) but lately for a few days I had lapsed some and took a step back in these areas.  2020 was a tough year for millions of people so I am not going to do the poor pitiful me routine about it.  Instead I will just say that my journey was one that included a bad case of covid that resulted in 7 days in the hospital and two heart scares in September and November.  During these life events I came to realize that I had work to do on my mind, body and soul.  I have been focusing on the 2021 plan for success in these areas and have made really good progress.

I have lost a total of 30 pounds between having covid and corrective measures in eating habits but the last few days I have been at a stand still.  I am doing the same things over and over but the results are not showing on the scale.  I was frustrated to see that for a few days straight so I was just being pissy for lack of a better term this morning.  I failed to remember that I have lost thirty pounds, improved my health, blood sugar levels and other things on my get better list.  I got stuck in the moment of pity and doubt because as a go getter and get after it, Seeing those results frustrated me to no end.  I have been spending time with God also daily but the last few it was just a quick prayer and move on.  That does not suffice and has to change as that time needs to be longer and more meaningful for me to gain the spiritual growth I want to attain.  

I also want to grow my mind and do that by writing, reading, studying, meditating and other relaxing activities to spur mental focus and growth.  I have had a bit of writer’s block lately also and have lacked some motivation in that area also.  I use the word writer “lightly” as I am not sure I qualify as a true writer.  I really just look at blogging and writing a few books as mind, body and soul therapy.  I would love to have thousands of followers, but if my writing helps one person on a consistent basis and I never sold a book I can live with that.  With all this said and long winded story line beginning this morning I had an experience that happens to me quite often and I should learn from it going forward.  In my doubt, pity and temporary madness my God stepped in and shook my foundation a bit.  He sent me a direct message of hope, inspiration and love. 

A message of hope, grace and mercy that abounds in me that I needed to keep in mind all day, everyday, every week, every month and every year.  We live back off the road about a half mile so on the way out I said a prayer asking for God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness and guidance as I felt ashamed for being so doubtful and in a bad mood this morning.  As I turned onto the main road a song came on called Nobody Loves Me Like You Love Me Jesus and I looked up and the sun was rising in the east and was so bright and beautiful. 

The lyrics at that moment were talking about the sun rising and Gods present in our lives.  “Morning, I see You in the sunrise every morning. It’s like a picture that You’ve painted for me: A love letter in the sky.”  I had just prayed for guidance so I could settle down, get focused up and move on with my day.  Seeing that sunrise and hearing those words blessed me and brought me back to the reality that I am saved by grace, offered mercy and healing by God daily.  He is the same today as he was yesterday and will never leave my side or forsake me.