Tag: relationships

Daily Bread: Living A Fruitful Life

Today’s reading and word is from Galatians 5, verse 22-23 and it speaks about the fruit of the spirit. This is in reference to a Godly spirit that we can have if we choose to seek his guidance in our lives. The verse lists the following things that are vital to being a good person, a Godly person, a caring person and most importantly a fruitful person. The old saying we reap what we sow comes into meaning with this reading for me. If we sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control then we will reap a great reward. Those that we are around will be influenced to live a fruitful and prosperous life.

We all have the capability and choice to be good or to be rotten. Sometimes we fall in between, but the choice to be destructive to others, hate, create chaos, be impatient, unkind, unfaithful, and lack self control is the result of habits and decisions we made and continue to make. Losing control of your life is noone’s fault but your own. God made us with the ability to chose and some chose good while others chose bad. We all face things that scar us emotionally, physically and spiritually in life. Some people do bad things to other people and these are hard to overcome, forgive and forget. But ultimately we have to decide how we react to life events and how we move forward with it.

If you have been damaged, hurt, broken, given up, lost control and are unforgiven then the time has come to face up to the past. Decide today that it is “right now” that you will go forward as a fruitful person. One that forgives, loves, is patient, kind, gentle, faithful, and controls your own destiny through good decisions. If it is a bad idea, then walk away from it. Release the past hurts, brokenness and pain by asking God to guide you, heal you and help you be a “new person”. Be fruitful and follow Gods lead and watch how your world will change.

Tips for moving on and being more fruitful:

1- Leave the past behind you. Forgive, forget and move forward. Living in the past destroys your opportunity to live in the present and future.

2- Kick old habits to the curb: Kick addictions, afflictions, bad habits, unhealthy habits, bad decision making skills and other things to the curb. Start fresh, set goals and monitor success daily. Be more intentional in your new habits with small changes and grow.

3- Stop worrying about tomorrow and live for today: We are not fruitful if all we see is the past or tomorrow. We must live today, make good decisions today, seek better relationships today, be more kind today. By living a fruitful life daily we can then create a future with no worry.

4- Do not be afraid to fail: We build bad habits, addictions, make poor decisions and often seek the easy way out because we are afraid to fail. Are we truly afraid to fail or are we afraid of what might happen if we work hard, set goals and actually change out current status of failure to success. Do not be afraid to have setbacks, pitfalls and other issues as you become more fruitful in life.

5- Seek Gods will and word in your life: God can cure all and can show you the light. He is the path to a more fruitful life. As I said in #4, do not be afraid to fail. Often people say “I don’t know about all that God stuff” or “I am not sure about God”. Well you will fail if your afraid to ask, seek and check it out. Give it to God by simply praying for help. Ask him to guide you, heal you and make you more fruitful and it will be so. Stay the course and watch your life change for the better!

You got this. You can do it. Be fruitful to yourself and others. Love, care, be kind, grow, pray, help out, watch over others, support them, be positive and God Bless!

Coach B

Galatians 5:22-23; But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Relationships: Dump Them Now- Five Signs To Avoid In A New Relationship

Today I am writing about toxic relationships and how they can destroy families, friendships, marriages and cause chaos.  I have been fortunate in my life to find a loving and wonderful wife that seeks a great relationship with me.  We get along mostly, disagree at times, but in the end we are together and strong.  I see this in many of my friends and family as well.  Positive, supporting and loving relationships that are far from perfect, but in the scheme of things are solid.  Then comes the reason I am writing this today as I see so many toxic relationships, people unhappy, angry, upset and constantly fighting.

These are very unhealthy and will eventually destroy the relationship, create hostility and resentment which leads to divorce, breaking up or worse (possible abuse).  I put together a quick list of five warning signs you should avoid once you see them come to light.  As soon as one of these pops up, you best get out now or eventually face chaos, fighting, anger and possible depression.  I have seen many people try to “change” someone, but lets be real.  People will only change if they want to so sitting in wait hoping he or she will change more often than none leads to disappointment and wasted time and effort.  

1- Impulsive behavior- If you recognize that the person is very impulsive emotionally, has an addiction or gets angry very fast get out now.  If they live impulsively in life, how can live wisely in a relationship with you or others.  These people may lack integrity, commitment and jump from relationship to relationship. Do they have the ability to show self control when taking care of family, kids and responsibilities. If they are a heavy drinker, tend to take themselves over others then get out now.

2- History of Bad Relationships- These people have been in destructive relationships and have lots of emotional baggage they have not gotten past.  They will find things you do to be annoying and it will trigger memories eventually creating chaos, confusion, lack of confidence and commitment issues. They will put words into your mouth and spin things as they see them.  They will dislike previous spouses, friends or relatives over the hurt that they likely had something to do with.  Bitter, selfish and hateful. 

3- Only Gets excited when you do something nice for them- These are gold diggers, looking to advance in life and are conceited.  They can be selfish, self-loathing and want it all without putting in the effort.  These people eventually mooch enough or do not support in the relationship that leads to a breakup or argument.  They should want to be with you because of who you are and not because of what you have.  Once they are done with you they may move on or get someone on the side to satisfy their needs to have money and stuff.

4- Immediately Jump Into Bed on First Date- These people are driven by sin of the flesh and a desire to conquer.  They have self-esteem issues or are conceited and not concerned about the emotional impact it may have on the partner. They are as the old song says “Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places” and may have a long list of sexual history you should avoid.  Instant attraction is a human nature but the lack of self control on a first date or two could be a sign to get out now.  If they are tempting you sexually before getting to know you, then they are about the flesh and not the heart. 

5- They play head games with you- This is a sign that they do not know how to be in a productive relationship.  They confuse you with nice Oneday, grumpy the next.  Today things are good, tomorrow is a a bad day and you feel like you are on a roller coaster ride all the time.  This is chaotic, unhealthy and not productive.  They keep you guessing and play games.  Show a lack of interest and emotion and keep you off balance.  They have bad intentions and are selfish and playing games.

To recap just remember that a person that has good intentions will show it early.  They will be committed, honest, kind and supportive.  Set your standards high and avoid any of the above like a plague.  Eventually they will end up with someone just like them in a toxic relationship and ride that roller coaster if anger, resentment, self-loathing, fear, lack of confidence and destructive behavior.  Two bible verses below for you to read.  The first describes a healthy relationship and the second describes a destructive one.  This is all you need to judge on going forward.  If you are blessed to be in a healthy relationship then Thank God for that and pray for growth.  If you are in a destructive relationship then ask God for help, seek his guidance about it.

What kind of love are you seeking in a partner?

Does the person you are with display nay of the list above?

If you are in a destructive relationship can you walk away, are you strong enough?

1st Corinthians 13: 4-7, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”.

Galatians 5: 19-21, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God”